Until a few days ago I never questioned the relationship between glamour and busyness. To be honest, I didn’t even know it existed… yet apparently they have a great romance!

I found out about this love affair recently, during a Coaching workshop I facilitated to women ages 15 to 54. We were talking about work-life balance, reducing stress and finding ways not to feel overwhelmed with “endless TO DO lists.”

DOES IT RING A BELL?
The conversation went something like, "For a long time when people asked me, 'How are you?' I just answered, 'Tired.'” "I know, there is not enough time for everything.” "I get you. I'm always exhausted. My brain no longer works." “I'm always the last priority.” “Eating healthy? I don’t even have time for lunch!”

We were going through these thoughts when a girl who had been silent said: "Well...I actually love being busy. It’s sexy, glamorous ... Others perceive me as ultra 'pro', as a woman who is on top of everything. Today to stand out you have to be perceived that way. I can’t afford to rest or relax. And I keep my family—my children—as busy as possible… they better get used to it."

APPLAUDING MULTI-TASKING
The room became silent. A minute later the balance shifted towards the idea of “Busy = Sexy & Glamorous.” Apparently in today’s world being “fine” means being “busy.” The busier we look, the better. It’s the glorification of not having enough time. We applaud multi-tasking. We go around parading that we can’t take vacations, or wearing our lack of sleep as a badge of honor. We “fake complain” about having to eat lunch in front of the computer while working…or sending e-mails, placing calls and writing grocery lists while driving.

We don't stop for even one second and think about who we are becoming and what we are feeling instead of what we are doing. Since when doing chores has become a priority over being a person?

There is no doubt we live in a world with a plethora of challenges, things to do and information. We want to do it all in order to have it all. And in the process we actually lose ourselves: more and more studies are showing that continuous stress is a major risk factor for disease and life-threatening conditions.

From that perspective, I believe it may be a good idea to stop and rethink the values we are attaching to exhaustion, lack of time to dream, play (yes, even adults) and create.  Are these really glamorous and sexy or is it just the way they’re selling it to us?

IDEAS TO NAVIGATE A BUSY WORLD
During the workshop we brainstormed and came up with strategies to slow down and shift towards a new attitude. One that may prompt you to answer "I'm fine, thank you" when people asks you haw are you doing instead of "I'm busy."

Stop glorifying being busy. It’s okay not to be busy all the time. It's okay to make space for leisure and fun. It’s okay to balance things out. It's okay to recharge your batteries, sleep, disconnect from time to time, take a vacation and do things that keep us from "occupation". It’s not sexy or glamorous to exhaust yourself from stress. It’s not glorious to suffer burnout from driving your body and mind to utter exhaustion. And, yes. It’s okay to recognize we are healthy, grateful, happy and able to say: “I'm fine, thanks" without feeling guilty for not being on the verge of collapse.

You have options. The first step to a less busy life is the conscious decision to lead a simpler life. We determine more of our agenda than we think. Each decision counts. We can simplify by seeking alternatives.

Make space and create breaks. When you're working on your schedule—no matter if you do it monthly, weekly or daily—include spaces to disconnect, relax, and recharge your batteries. Give value to these "breaks.” Do it intentionally. Consciously. If you work in an office, consider taking a 5-min. break at least every 90 mins. Enjoy your lunch without staring at the computer or your smart phone… it’s meant to be a break!

Review your priorities. What is important in your life? How are you contributing to the world around you, personally and professionally? What will your legacy be? What will you miss most the last day of your life: a sunset next to the one you love or running around "doing things?" Pause. Ask yourself the questions that count.

All those things. In our workshop we saw that a great part of our busyness comes from the things we own. For example, very large houses need to be cleaned, repaired and tidied constantly. Consider making your life easier. Perhaps when you have less to clean, arrange, organize and maintain you can finally find more time for yourself and your family, minimizing the time you spend in the material things that surround you.

No is a complete sentence. I don’t remember where I read this sentence, but learning to say “NO” is the first step towards a more balanced life. There is no obligation to accept all the invitations we receive. No need to go to every event in town. We don’t have to take on other people’s responsibilities or do things because everybody else is doing it. Review your priorities. Say no to what is not a priority and make space for what is important in your life.

Leave work… at work. Don’t bring work from the office into your home. Your personal life is valuable. Engage in leisure activities or just disconnect from your job. Nourish your spirit and free your mind—it does matter. That space can give you more energy, new ideas and new perspectives to face those hours in the office.

Take vacations. In the United States there is no legislation on paid holidays, and if you are an entrepreneur and you work on your own, you’ll hardly think of leaving your business "solo". Still, make an effort to stop and take a vacation. Invest in experiences rather than things. It will make your career more sustainable and profitable in the long term.

Who’s the boss? Take breaks from computers and screens. Unplug yourself every day at least for a while. Turn off the phone. Do not check social networks. Use that time to do something creative, something you enjoy, watch a sunset, play with your pet, talk to your family at dinner, meditate, go to a yoga class or simply walk around. Ask yourself: are you controlling your mobile phone or is your mobile controlling your life?

Find peace in silence ... Reconnect ... Learn to be with yourself in harmony ... Make room for what is important ... And when it comes to “time is money,” remember: money can buy you things, but it won’t buy you any more time to live. Value the time you have been given in this life.

Niky Pauli s a certified Life Coach by the International Coaching Community, a Leadership Life Coach by the Sura Center and is trained as a Reiki practitioner. She's the founder of  NikyCoach, which combines traditional Life Coaching tools with meditation and energetic healing modalities.

Photo credit: Painting by Tamara de Lempicka, Polish Art Deco painter and "the first woman artist to be a glamour star."

Do you spend your day doing a million things just to realize you achieved very little? That your day feels like being on a treadmill: all day running without advancing one inch?

In society, we are trained to do. We believe that doing will make things happen. What they forget to tell us is that—for things to happen in life—you need to create the space and time for it to happen.

In Reiki we have a technique called “holding the healing space,” which means creating the space and holding it, so healing can take place. A concept I believe you can apply to your life as well: creating a “space” with more thoughtful doing and less busyness so magic can happen.

How? Here are 7 life-hacks that can help. But don’t stick to them. Like guidelines in Reiki practice, use them as a springboard to discover what works for your lifestyle. 

1)   LOOK AT YOUR TO DO LIST WITH FRESH EYES
A friend of mine gave me this fantastic tip:  divide your list in “TO DOs” (chores/work) and your “WANT TO” list (i.e. new paint for the bedroom, shopping, etc).
Keep them separate. The beauty of the WANT LIST is that you can do them whenever. No time pressure. Putting them into the TO DO list transforms enjoyment into duty.
One watch out: resist the temptation to fill your now lighter TO DO list with new chores in order to feel more productive, which takes us to…

2)   YOU CAN’T BE PRODUCTIVE 100% OF THE TIME.
You may want to, people may pressure you, but the reality is that not even computers can do it: they need time to render and process or they spin their wheels. Taking breaks to eat, relax and refresh is not irresponsible. It will actually make you more productive. Your brain will process better and a break of 5 minutes may allow you to do a report in one hour instead of struggling for three.

3)  ADOPT A LAZY SUNDAY AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH.
No plans, no playdates, no planned brunches. Wake up whenever your body (or children) tells you, order take out and decide what you feel like doing. For once, do things according to your mood and physical needs. Feel the difference. Enjoy it. Your brain will really appreciate one day with less adrenaline.

4)  ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: DO I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS OR AM I DOING IT OUT OF GUILT/OBLIGATION.
We always feel like we can’t cancel or not go somewhere. But going out of obligation is not energetically empowering for you, your family or the people you are committed to see. If you are not feeling up to it or have already too many engagement that week, a nice “I would love to but…” note is the kindest move towards all!

5) NO COMPUTER/SMART PHONE GAMES.
You may think they help you disconnect from work, but one hour of Candy Crush or Whatever Popular Saga will only get more adrenaline coursing through your body. You’re bored in the subway? Try meditating a little bit, doing some pre-thinking on work or going through your TO DO List (to make it smaller not bigger).

6) ASK YOURSELF WHAT AM I TRYING TO PROVE…
with the perfect household, the perfect kids and the perfect job. Not an easy question but one that may lead you to relax a little your own expectations and realize that—some days—an sort of clean bathroom is good enough.

7) LEAVE BLANKS IN YOUR SCHEDULE.
Filling your calendar 100% means leaving no space for the unpredictable, the surprises, the new friendship, the new client, the new business idea, the casual coffee that gives you a new insight into your life...

Because at the end, the best part of life happens in those few moments when we are not expecting or trying to control it.

Nathalie Jaspar is the co-founder at Natky927 Wellness Collective, and a Reiki Master/Practitioner based in New York City. You can reach her at natjaspar@mac.com

Photo credit: Painting "Sky Above the Clouds" by American painter Georgia O'Keeffe.

El estrés nunca viene sólo, le acompañan un montón de otras palabritas que nos hacen la vida más complicada:  preocupación, presión, insomnio, irascibilidad, depresión, aturdimiento... Por eso es muy importante tener aliados que nos ayuden a batallarlas hasta lograr dejarlas sin significado.

INFUSIÓN CONTRA EL INSOMNIO
Valeriana (Valeriana officinalis) + Pasiflora (Passionaria incarnata) + Azahar (Citrus aurantium) + Tila (Tilia platyphyllos)
Mezclar a partes iguales. 1 cucharada sopera de la mezcla por taza. Hervir 1 minuto y dejar reposar 5 minutos. Tomar entre 30 min/1 h antes de acostarse.

INFUSIÓN CONTRA LA ANSIEDAD
Espino blanco (Crataegus monogyna) + Melisa (Melissa officinalis) + Manzanilla (Matricaria chamomilla) + Lavanda (Lavandula officinalis)
Mezclar a partes iguales. 1 cucharada sopera de la mezcla por taza. Llevar el agua a ebullición, apagar e infusionar unos minutos.

INFUSIÓN CONTRA LA DEPRESIÓN
Hipérico (Hypericum perforatum)
1 cucharadita de la mezcla por taza. Llevar el agua a ebullición, apagar e infusionar unos minutos. Esta planta no debe tomarse en caso de: embarazo, lactancia, toma de anticonceptivos, toma de antidepresivos, depresión severa, esquizofrenia, interacción con otros fármacos.

INFUSIÓN CONTRA EL DECAIMIENTO
Romero (Rosmarinus officinalis) + Salvia (Salvia officinalis)
1 cuchara sopera de la mezcla por taza. Llevar el agua a ebullición, apagar e infusionar unos minutos.

CONSEJOS:
—Prepara con antelación un bote grande con el preparado para no tener que estar mezclando cada vez que necesites tomarte la infusión.
—No olvides preguntar a tu médico si puedes tomar alguna de estas plantas. A veces ocurren interacciones con fármacos o determinadas condiciones.
—Las embarazadas deben tener especial cuidado con las plantas medicinales e informarse antes de tomarlas.

Basada en Madrid, España, Eva Miquel se especializa en crear remedios naturales simples y seguros para balancear y energizar el organismo. La puedes contactar via evamn@hotmail.com. 

Hasta hace apenas unos días jamás había cuestionado la pasional relación entre el glamour y estar ocupado. Ni siquiera sabía de su existencia. Pero al parecer, ¡viven un gran romance!
Y me enteré de esta nueva perspectiva (al menos para mí) hace poco, a través de un taller de Coaching y apoyo para mujeres que facilité a un grupo cuyas edades oscilaban entre 18 y 54 años, y que querían hablar sobre cómo obtener un mejor balance entre la vida personal y laboral, reduciendo estrés y encontrando espacios para no sentirse abrumadas con las “cosas por hacer”.

¿Suena la campana?
Estas son algunas de las frases que iniciaron la conversación: “Hace mucho que cuando me preguntan cómo estoy, sólo respondo: ‘cansada’”, “El tiempo no alcanza para nada”, “Siempre estoy agotada. El cerebro no me funciona”, “Me frustro porque al final del día me quedan mil cosas para hacer”, “Hago miles de listas de cosas por hacer y nunca las cumplo. No me da el tiempo”, “Corro de un lado al otro y nunca tengo tiempo para mí”, “Siempre soy la última de las prioridades. No puedo ni descansar”, “¿Comer sano? ¡Ni siquiera tengo tiempo para almorzar!”. “Duermo mal, el estrés por lo que tengo que hacer no me deja dormir”, “¡No tomo vacaciones hace años!”… ¿Alguna les resulta familiar?

En esa enumeración estábamos cuando  una chica que se había mantenido en silencio dijo: “A mí me encanta estar ocupada. Es como sexy, como glamoroso… Los demás me perciben como ultra ‘pro’, como una mujer que está en todo. Y hoy, para destacar, hay que ser así. No me puedo dar el lujo de descansar, de relajarme y mantengo a mi familia—mis hijos—tan ocupados como se pueda, así se van acostumbrando”.

¿Dónde van nuestros aplausos?
El silencio reinó en la sala por un minuto. Y la balanza se inclinó hacia que hoy pareciera que estar bien, es estar ocupado. Mientras más ocupado suene y parezca uno, mejor. Una especie de glorificación del hecho de no tener tiempo… Aplaudimos todo aquello multitasking. Vamos por ahí contando orgullosos cuánto hace que no tomamos vacaciones o diciendo con una sonrisa, que apenas dormimos unas pocas horas por día… O que almorzamos frente “a la compu”… O que mientras manejamos respondemos emails y hacemos llamadas y hasta hacemos listas entre semáforo y semáforo de lo que vamos a comprar en el supermercado.

¿Qué tal detenernos por un momento para pensar en quiénes somos y cómo nos sentimos, dejando de lado lo que hacemos y lo que tenemos? ¿Qué tal, pensar y sentir lo que es importante y prioritario en nuestras vidas, y no, en lo que es urgente o convertimos en imprescindible?

Es cierto que el mundo actual nos plantea muchos desafíos y nos ofrece muchas actividades y posibilidades de comunicarnos…y quizás, queremos aprovecharlas todas. , pero los estudios demuestran que el estrés constante es un factor de riesgo en la causa de enfermedades e incluso en situaciones que pueden llevarnos a la muerte.

Desde esa perspectiva, creo que es bueno detenernos y no etiquetar como glamoroso o sexy nuestro agotamiento o el no tener espacios para soñar, para jugar (si, incluso los adultos) y para crear.

Ideas para navegar un mundo “ocupado”

 Durante el taller compartimos ideas y evaluamos algunas estrategias que quizás te sirvan para volver a decir, la próxima vez que te pregunten cómo andas, “Estoy bien, gracias” y no, “estoy ocupado”.

• Basta de “glorificar” el estar ocupado. Está bien no estar ocupado todo el tiempo. Está bien hacer espacios para el ocio y la diversión. Está bien balancear. Está bien recargar las baterías, dormir, desconectarse cada tanto, tomar vacaciones y hacer cosas que nos alejen de las “ocupaciones”.  No es sexy ni glamoroso caer exhausto por estrés. No es glorioso sufrir burnout por llevar a nuestro cuerpo y mente a un estado de agotamiento absoluto. Y sí. Está bien saberse sano, agradecido, feliz y con tiempo para poder responder: “Estoy muy bien, gracias”, sin sentirse culpable por no estar atribulado y agotado.
   
• Tienes opciones. Incluida la decidir cuán ocupado estás. El primer paso para una vida menos ocupada, es la decisión consciente de tener una vida más sencilla. Mayormente, determinamos nuestra agenda. Cada una de nuestras decisiones cuenta. Podemos simplificar, podemos buscar y encontrar alternativas.
   
• Crea espacios y recreos. Cuando estés trabajando en tu agenda –ya sea que lo hagas mensual, semanal o diariamente- incluye espacios para desconectarte, para relajarte, para recargar las pilas. Dale valor a estos “recreos” para ti mismo. Hazlo intencionalmente. Conscientemente. En tu día a día, si trabajas en una oficina, considera descansar unos minutos cada al menos, hora y media. Para para almorzar (no frente al computador o el teléfono inteligente)… en fin, toma un recreo.
   
• Revisa tus prioridades. ¿Qué es importante para ti en la vida? ¿Cómo contribuyes al mundo que te rodea, en lo personal y en lo profesional? ¿Cuál será tu legado? ¿Qué echarás de menos el ultimo día de tu vida: Una puesta de Sol al lado de quien amas, o correr de un lado al otro “haciendo cosas?” Haz una pausa. Hazte preguntas que cuentan.
   
• “Todas esas cosas”. En nuestro taller vimos que muchas actividades se generan a partir de las cosas que tenemos. Por ejemplo, casas muy grandes que hay que limpiar y ordenar constantemente, que necesitan reparaciones con frecuencia, que a su vez precisan muchas visitas a negocios para refacciones, etc. Considera la posibilidad de vivir de forma más sencilla. Quizás con menos cosas que limpiar, acomodar, organizar, mantener… Encuentra tiempo para ti y los tuyos, restándole tiempo a las cosas materiales que te rodean.
   
• “No, es una oración completa”. No recuerdo donde leí esa frase, pero hay que aprender a decir no. No hay obligación de asistir a todas las invitaciones que recibimos. No hay que ir a cada evento en la ciudad que ocurre en la semana. No hay que llenarse de cosas y cosas por hacer porque otros no las hacen… o porque otros las hacen (y no podemos ser menos). Revisa tus prioridades. Di no a lo que no es prioritario y crea el espacio para lo que sí es importante en tu vida.
   
• Deja el trabajo en el trabajo. No te lleves cosas para hacer a casa. Tu vida personal es valiosa. Realiza actividades de esparcimiento, recreativas o simplemente corta con lo laboral. Nutre tu espíritu y libera  tu mente. Ese espacio puede darte mayor energía, nuevas ideas, nuevas perspectivas, para enfrentar las horas en la oficina o resolver situaciones cotidianas.
   
• Toma vacaciones. En Estados Unidos no hay legislación sobre vacaciones pagas, y si eres emprendedor y trabajas por tu cuenta, difícilmente piensas en dejar tu negocio “solo”. Pese a todo, haz un esfuerzo por detenerte, por tomar vacaciones. Invierte en experiencias, más que en cosas.
   
• ¿Quién manda a quién? Toma descansos de las computadoras y pantallas en general. Desenchúfate al menos un rato cada día. Apaga el teléfono. No revises redes sociales. Usa ese tiempo para algo creativo que te guste, o para sentarte a ver un atardecer o jugar con tu mascota, hablar con tu familia durante la cena, meditar, ir a una clase de yoga, caminar un rato… Y pregúntate si tú manejas a tu teléfono móvil o él te controla a ti…

Encuentra paz en el silencio… Reconéctate… Aprende a estar contigo, en armonía… Haz espacio para lo que es importante… Y recuerda que “el tiempo no es dinero”, porque el dinero no podrá comprarte más tiempo… Valora el tiempo que se te ha concedido en esta vida…

Niky Pauli es una "life coach" certificada por el International Coaching Community y el Sura Center. Es la fundadora de NikyCoach, que combina técnicas tradicionales de Life Coaching con modalidades de meditación o de sanación energética tales como Reiki. 

Photo Credit: Painting by Tamara de Lempicka, Polish Art Deco Painter and "the first woman artist to be a glamour star", 1898-1980.

We've all been there.  Over extending ourselves with work, school, family, friends...  we stop and think long enough to say to ourselves, “next week I'll have more quiet time,” and next week arrives and our boss needs our help on an important project and the cycle starts again. 

Humans are the most adaptable animals, that means we can adapt ourselves to almost any situation, no matter how unhealthy.  Before we know it, we're fatigued, can't concentrate, feel depressed and lethargic. 

If you've been following Nathalie's previous posts, you learned about the symptoms of burnout. Below you'll find 3 herbs that are safe for long-term use that you could use when experiencing these symptoms:

• OATS are one of my favorite foods to turn to when I have anxiety, stress and experience complete exhaustion. Oats are restorative to the nervous system and are specific for people who are too busy doing, rather than being. I have also used oats successfully to help with ADD/ADHD symptoms. You can take milky oats in tincture or glycerite form or fresh oat tincture.  Dried oats are not as effective as a nervine.
   
• HOLY BASIL is another of my favorite herbs/foods for burnout.  I drink 3 cups of tea per day when I cannot focus, have trouble remembering simple things or other “brain fog” symptoms.  Not only does it taste great as a tea, but I also add it as a garnish to soups and food.  Many Asian recipes use Holy Basil in case you'd like to get new ideas on how to make it.  You can also use Holy Basil tincture. 
   
• PASSIONFLOWER is another excellent nervine specific for those who experience insomnia with circular thinking or worry.   When you can't shut your brain off or are easily irritated by the slightest imbalance, Passionflower is your ally.  I've also used Passionflower for those who suffer from stress-induced headaches. A tea can be made of the leaves or vines.  Drink 2-3 cups per day.  You can also find the tincture at your local health food store.

Lauraine Velez is an experienced clinical herbalist who trained at the David Winston’s Center for Herbal Studies. She uses Traditional Chinese Medicine along with Western, Ayurvedic, Middle Eastern and Cherokee herbal traditions. She's the founder of Apothecratic Oath.

The first step to slowing down is to control stress in all its expressions: worry, pressure, insomnia, anxiety, depression and numbness... Here are a few allies we use in Spain to fight back stress: 

FIGHT INSOMNIA
Valerian root (Valeriana officinalis) + Passionflower (Passionaria incarnata) + Orange blossom (Citrus aurantium) + Linden (Tilia platyphyllos)
Mix in equal parts. 1 tbsp per cup. Boil for 1 minute and let it rest for 5 minutes. Take 30 mins. to 1 hour before going to bed. 

FIGHT ANXIETY
White Hawthorne (Crataegus monogyna) + Melissa (Melissa officinalis) + Chamomile (Matricaria chamomilla) + Lavender (Lavandula officinalis)
Mix in equal parts. 1 tbsp per cup of boiling water. Steep for a few minutes. 

FIGHT DEPRESSION
St. John's Wort (Hypericum perforatum)
1 tsp. per cup of boiling water. Steep for a few minutes. Do not take if you are pregnant, breast feeding, taking contraceptives, taking antidepressants, suffer from severe depression or schizophrenia. Check for harmful interactions if you're taking medications. 

FIGHT LACK OF ENERGY
Rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis) + Sage (Salvia officinalis)
1 tbsp if the mix per cup of boiling water. Steep for a few minutes. 

IMPORTANT TIPS:
—Prepare whole jars of the infusion of your choice to save time.
—If you have a health condition or are taking medication, always check with your doctor before taking herbal remedies to avoid harmful interactions.
—If you are pregnant, be specially cautious when taking herbal remedies.

Based in Madrid, Spain, Eva Miquel specializes in preparing simple and safe natural remedies to balance and energize your body. She can be reached at evamn@hotmail.com. 

—By Nathalie J.

I have been working on "grounding" for the last few days.
As you may recall, I'm an air person who fears the constrains of grounding.

However, I've come to internalize that without proper grounding, you can't really have a strong practice—self-doubt and external criticism would constantly make you feel off center. 

To my surprise I'm finding my grounding meditations fascinating... and even enlightening.

As an example: during one meditation I was visualizing these amazing roots borrowing deep into the earth to get nutrients and stability... and then an image popped out: I felt the ground responded to the energy and that these virtual roots helped the earth keep its integrity, its place in the whole and its life—reminding me of the #Reiki principle, "There are no givers, gift or receivers."

Now I'm actually excited to keep on going. 

If you have a lovely grounding modality, don't be shy! Share it! I would love to experiment more  in this area. 

Thx and namaste!

—By Nathalie J.

One of the cornerstones of Reiki practice is meditating on the five precepts. These precepts are a fine guide for living even if you're not into Reiki: 

"Just for today, 
do not anger,
do not worry
be humble,
be honest in your work,
be compassionate to yourself and others.*"

The thing is... On my mother's side, I come from a Spanish traditional Christian background that thrives on guilt. The matriarchs of the family have used it for decades to get what they want: from help in the kitchen to properties. 

What does guilt have to do with precepts you ask?

Well, I'm the kind of person who's very easy going 95% of the time. Another 4% I'm a fiery Scorpio and the remaining 1% a NYC psycho. When I read "do not anger" I don't get inspired. I feel guilty. Guilty I lose it sometimes. Guilty I can be peaceful 100% of the time. 

On my father's side, I come from a Belgian thrifty family. Thrifty meaning extreme cheapskate. They calculate every penny spent and fret about the future if they go 1 euro above budget (don't even mention credit cards... they're the devil!) I've improved my relationship with money but it may be a few more years until I reach the 'do not worry" stage.

Nevertheless, living in New York I felt the need for a precept or mantra you can use when people complain about your dog or when tourists insist on checking their map at the entrance of the subway. Or help to control my temper each time my well intentioned family asks: "So what you're going to do?" midway through my sabbatical year.

The other day at a meditation class the theme was light and peace. I liked how simple and positive those concepts are. I decided to create my own mantra or what like to call a "pre-precept" to support me while I advance on the Reiki path. "I Am Light."

Repeating has helped me cope with neurotic dog moms. 
Smile at frustrated post office employees.
It even helped me stop spiraling down when my family asks, "So what are you doing?"

Without guilt. Without thoughts. Just light.

Do you have a mantra that helps you remain centered? Would love to hear from you.

*There are many translation of the Japanese original text. I like this one because it's short and sweet. 

Photo credit: "Flint Castle" by British painter William Turner.

—By Nathalie J.

The way I was raised, asking for help was a sign of weakness.  Yet you are to ALWAYS HELP others and NEVER EVER complain.

If someone—even a slight acquaintance or a friend of a friend—asks for anything you have to say yes. No matter if destroys your own plan (others first, don’t be selfish!) or help people you barely know move after working a 70-hour week.

I guess the idea is that in return people will be there when you needed support.

In my experience, however, this never happens… mainly because—remember—I’m not supposed to ask for help. And as for people guessing your needs… yep, you got it!

A few months into my Reiki practice, this family pattern started to shift.

You see, Reiki’ practice’s cornerstone is self-care: you take care of yourself so you can feel well, bloom and evolve, and then help others—if you can.

There are no sacrifices, no victims and no heroes in Reiki practice.

And I love that.

If you need help or guidance, you ask for it kindly. And if someone needs it, you give it. With boundaries and respect.

Leaving pride aside and learning how to ask for help without feeling shame is been one of the toughest lessons to learn. A lesson I can only learn in a tough city like New York, when life sometimes becomes just too much. 

I still suck at it, but it has allowed me two very important things: first, strengthen my bond with some dear friends—Niky, Vic and my lovely Mermaid Group— and second, meet amazing people.

Like Michele Kong, a wonderful holistic coach/healing guide that in less than an hour helped me shift an emotional pattern that I’d been working on for weeks with no success.

Like Lauraine Velez, a great clinical herbalist that is working with me in creating packages for the relief of Burnout Syndrome that affects so many people in Corporate America.

Or Daniela Hoff, who helped me shift things faster and with more ease than I would have been able by myself using a number of modalities such as Vortex Healing and Sacred Geometry.

Life can be at times tricky and lonely.

It feels great to know that when things get really tough, they are beautiful souls there to support you. Souls who are grounded, wise and smart (they’re new Yorkers after all.)

And that one day, you will have the pleasure of offering your hand in return. In a balanced, fair, loving way.

Photo Credit: Painting by Italian artist Giorgio De Chirico (1888-1978).

—By Nathalie J.

As part of the requirements for my Level 3 certificate, I’m to observe a Reiki Level 1 training, which is given in 3 classes over 21 days.

During the classes, I am not allowed to talk, do any of the exercises or socialize much. I am supposed to observe in silence (a challenge in itself) as a group of ten very different people go from having very little idea about what is a Reiki practice to discovering the power of their own hands to relax their body and quiet their minds.

The transformation of their attitude and the glow in their faces was beautiful to see. It was a gift in itself. But more importantly, reconnecting with the simplicity of basic hands on self-treatment, observe its power, was a great reminder that Reiki practice is not about levels— it’s about practice. 

Namasté!

—By Nathalie J.

According to Judith Orloff in The Ecstasy of Surrender, when you try to be too sugary or over zen-like, you may be hiding a lot of anger and explode at any minute.

Today I can tell you with all my heart: this is so true.

I’m a passionate but rational Scorpio. Nonsensical, abusive New Yorkers drive me crazy. I can be absolutely relaxed, but one of them starts screaming at me about how I need to “talk” to my dog and “explain to him” he should not be smelling Tony the Pug’s but because he doesn’t like it… I lose it.

Last week I even did an amazing Life Coaching/Guided Healing kind of session to work on the issue and I thought I was doing so much better!

When a man suddenly opened a door almost hitting me on the face and screamed at me like a banshee instead of apologizing, I smiled graciously and walked away.

When a lady hated that my dog Maximilian said hello to her dog and made her lose a few seconds. I smiled and even wished her lots of love and peace (OK, I did say the F_ word… but only in my mind, which almost counts as not saying it.)

I’ve meditated and understood you can’t have a rational conversation with irrational people. That trying to convince them was actually being egotistical and irrational. I felt ready to move on.

And then came today.

I met a friend at Whole Foods for lunch. The pro is that you can bring your lunch and heat it up. The con is that their microwave is a magnet for contention.  There was no one so I put my topper to heat for 3.5 minutes.

A minute passes and I see this teenager arriving and trying to open the door. I calmly tell him, ‘You can't do that.’ He starts mumbling of how is going to waste 1.5 minutes of his life because I didn’t stop my meal so he could heat his tortilla. No matter how many times I explained to him he needed to respect the line and learn how to wait, he started saying I was not Christian and then reaching for the door. I reacted like he was Maximilian, saying “no you can’t, don’t you dare,” and grabbing his hand to stop him opening the door. When he opened it I lost it.

Why????

I was doing so well.

So it’s back to the cushion to meditate for an hour on how to manage kids that think waiting a minute or two is life-threatening and what it can teach me. Yet this is the kind of stupid situation when the "Show compassion to yourself and others precept" is a tiny bit challenging for me.

Parents everywhere. Let’s make a deal: can you explain to your kids that waiting is not a lethal disease? If you do, I promise I’ll do my best to feel compassion about them undergoing a crappy adolescence.

Thank you and Namaste. 

—By Nathalie J.

Distant or Absentee Reiki was not my cup of tea. In that respect, I felt like St. Thomas: I needed to see to believe. A tough one when it came to Reiki. 

Yes. Quantum Physics' references helped my brain understand that Distant Reiki was totally feasible, but a part of me resisted. What do with your hands if you can't see where to place them? What if they don't feel it? How can you charge if they don't feel it? 

The whole thing was way too Sci-Fi for me.

But life is wise and where there is resistance... well, you know, it just hits you and hits you until you face the fear that hides behind it.  

A big part of our Level 3 class was to let go of the idea that only hands can offer #Reiki. We did sessions seating next to each other or standing in a circle surrounding one of the student. The fact is: YOU FEEL THE SESSION. No hands. No nothing. But YOU FEEL IT. The way you usually feel sessions—for me it's a lot of tingling, colors as well as pressure and expansion.

And once you feel it... you start believing.

You do it across a room, then you try across the city, across the country and even across oceans. 

In these first five days of #BeingReiki "living-meditation"—sorry Tendai monks, not a lot of walking beyond usual dog walking duty—I've given quite a few distance sessions.

After today's session I felt with my whole body that Fears are not to be fought nor resisted. They are guideposts to the next stop on your journey. They indicate where you need to stop, pay attention and then let go. Not the most original lesson, but one I tend to easily forget. 

By stopping and paying attention to my fear of offering Distant Reiki, it's become one of the most precious part of my practice. Thank you fear, but now you are no more. Onwards... to the next one. 

How comfortable are you with your Distant Reiki practice? 
Here are a few tips that helped me get started: 

• I schedule distant sessions like regular ones: They start and finish at a certain time.
• I ask the recipients to lay down while listening to relaxation music and—if they feel like it lighting a candle. The music and candle help people get into the right mental space, especially people who've had less contact with complementary healing modalities.
• I find a quiet place where I can sit comfortably and play music. I personally like to keep a couple of pillows handy.
• I text the person when I'm starting.
• I prepare the same way I do for a regular sessions.
• I bring the person's name and city into my mind and start offering the session with simplicity and respect. Some people use dolls to do regular hands placements, others use their legs. I like to imagine people laying down in front of me and placing my hands in the air until it feels right. Sometimes I use pillows, especially for the "back" part of the treatment or when my arms ache. Sometimes I just sit with my palms open in offering. It's your practice: be creative—but don't go crazy, there is someone on the receiving end!
• I close the session by dry bathing and breathing deeply a few times. After a few minutes, I text the person to let him/her know the session was completed, remind him/her to drink water and opening up the (SMS) conversation in case there is any question. 

And voilá! 

Go ahead. Practice. Start with someone you know and can rely on for constructive feedback. You will be surprised with the results.

Any questions? Any suggestion? Any comment?

I'm all ears! You can leave a comment or e-mail me at natjaspar@mac.com

Namaste!

Photo Credit: Painting by Belgian surrealist painter René Magritte. 

When I took my Reiki Level 2 class five years ago, I was taught all 3 symbols in one hour. A lot of emphasis was placed on CKR as the "power symbol," which works as a “switch” that helps to instantly increase the practitioner’s ability to channel energy and concentrates it on the required purpose. You wanted to accelerate healing? CKR. You wanted to rid your house of bad energies? CKR in every corner. There was nothing that CKR could not do.

The thing is I am a little bit like Al Gore: I dramatize things with amazing facility. So CKR became almost like a SuperMan kind of power in my head, which ended up being... a turn off. Childish I know, but We were not thought the importance of daily practice and meditating on the symbols.

When my life struggles were not instantly solved, no matter how many CKR I drew in the air, on paper and even in the mirror, I used it less and less. 

Through the years, my practice improved a lot. In great part by practicing simply and with respect at Reiki Clinics like the one at the JCC in Manhattan. I focused on letting my hands do the work and establishing a solid daily practice. Symbols didn't play a big role anymore... until I started my Reiki 3 class.

One of the first requirements was to read Frans Stiene's book The Japanese Art of Reiki. His description of the symbols are so inspiring, it created a desire to bring them back into my practice. Our teacher Deborah taught us simple meditations to understand each symbol's unique energy and how to incorporate it in yourself (Check them out at the end of the post!). Yet CKR—despite it's earthiness, grounding and accepting qualities—was a challenge to me. 

As a writer, I live in my head most of the time. The idea of grounding felt constraining. Almost anti-creative (as you can see I am not always the most perceptive person). So I binged on the 4th symbol, and avoided CKR like the plague, even though I started forgetting things everywhere and feeling a little to "airy."

The other day I was in a beautiful garden full of wild plants. They felt so alive it was almost like you could see them growing, moving, multiplying. And then it hit me: how stupid could I be thinking grounding and earthiness limit creativity? Earth is where life and all ideas get their nourishment to manifest. Their root to grow and prosper. It never constrains. On the contrary, it supports life without judging: weed, roses, deadly bugs or dutiful ants. 

And just like that I opened the door to CKR—to start discovering its nurturing energy of acceptance which dissolves anger and keeps things in perspective; its grounding effect that dissolves fears and worry.

If you have not meditated lately on CKR I invite you to give it a few minutes this week. Here are some tips that helped me get started:

1) Stand with your feet hip distance apart. Place your non-dominant hand on your hara and draw the symbol in the air with your dominant hand (using the palm). Say its name 3 times and bring the dominant hand to the hara (on top of the non-dominant one). Just breath for a few minutes and feel CKR's energy with your whole body.

2) Sit comfortably with your feet firmly planted on the floor. Draw CKR on a piece of paper. Place your dominant hand on top of it, say its name 3 times. Breathe deeply and feel the symbols' energy. 

3) If you are more auditory than visual, try chanting the symbol. You can download its chanting sounds here. Stand with your feet hip distance apart, hands to your side, take a purifying breath and get chanting. Start with 2 to 3 minutes per day and add time each time you feel ready. 

Photo credit: Nikolai Shevchuk

—By Nathalie J.

The other day I saw a video about Mitsunaga, a monk from the Tendai School in Japan, who became the 13th monk since WWII to complete the Sennichi Kaihogyo: 1,000 days of walking meditation and prayer over a seven-year period around Mount Hiei. The idea behind the challenge is allowing one’s sense of self to die and then be reborn to help and lead all beings to enlightenment.

Yesterday I finished a Reiki Level III class with Deborah Flanagan, a caring, down-to-earth and inspired teacher. I call it Level III and not Master because for me—more than an achievement—this class is the gate towards a spiritual journey which as has as a goal to become one with Reiki (in many years… or lives.)

Maybe that’s why I was attracted to the monk’s story—his journey is not unlike many of us who embrace Reiki as al life-long spiritual practice.

It’s true that Manhattan—where I live—is no mountain to be scaled, unless you commit to go up and down the Empire State stairs every day. There are no dangerous bears or mud slides. But there are some angry people that can kick any bear’s ass and subways without air conditioning in summer that can cause meltdown after a hard day. It’s also a land of extremes: where greed meets compassion, and infinite loneliness lives next to abundant love. There is so much noise and information that losing your center is extremely easy. Forgetting the Reiki precepts—especially the first about not getting angry—some days can take as much as… 30 seconds.

But what if I tried to commit to trying to my utmost power to live following those precepts, and leave anger and worry behind for 1000 days like the monk. To be humble and honest every minute of each day. To show compassion towards my self and others once and again. Could I do it?

Probably not.

But why not try?

So from today on I initiate my own personal Sennichi Kaihogyo. 1000 days of awareness and learning. Of embracing the thousands mistakes I do everyday and share the learning… if any. 1000 days of observation, lived with joy and honesty, true to myself and with a sense of humor… which I will try to transform into compassionate.

A journey in which I will try to transition from a sabbatical break into a career where I don’t feel like every second spent working is draining my soul. Finding a way to live from a place of trust instead of fear, especially when it comes to material goods and affections. Where meditation has a place, but also joy, life and adventure. And where becoming a better person doesn’t mean surrendering the use of lipstick (embracing my shadow side has proven challenging, embracing my shallow one, however, seems to come quite naturally to me).

Don't worry, I won’t be writing every day (boring I know) and I won’t commit hara-kiri like the Tendai monks if I get lost in my journey. BTW, I would love to hear from you: any tips, words of support or adventures you think can add spice to this journey? They would be very welcome.

So ready, set...Namaste. Day 1 it is. 

Photo credit: Two Clowns Tripping

—by Nathalie Jaspar

When I visualize a spiritual master, I tend to imagine someone living a quiet life of meditation and teaching—a yoga or a Reiki master. I never expected that some of the most kick-ass life advice I’ve heard lately would come from the lips of two young women entrepreneur at a Women 2.0 event in New York: Cathy Han, CEO and co-founder of 42 Technologies and Kelly Peeler, Founder and CEO of NextGenVest. Here is some of the wisdom they shared* when asked what life lessons they learned while launching their companies. Enjoy!

1)    No excuses (Cathy): Stop saying you are too young, too busy, or too poor. That you need another class, another year, another partner. If you want to do something, go ahead and do it.

2)    Don’t be an asshole (Kelly): You can’t do everything by yourself; you will need help and a network of people. And for that to happen, you can’t be an asshole.

3)    Being busy doesn’t mean you are progressing (Cathy): When you are always busy, you don’t leave space for things to happen: a last minute meeting that can bring you new connections or the mental space for an idea to grow. Always create space for the things you want or need so they can come into your life. For that you need to prioritize: Have a huge to do list? Pick the 3 things you want to do that day. Pick three coffee shops and do one thing in each: this helps you focus on each and helps creating a feeling of movement.

4)    Say thank you (Kelly): A lot of people ask for help, but very few say thank you. When you say thank you, it goes a long way.

5)    Know how you operate (Kelly): Are you a morning person or a night person? Do you work best in blocks of a few hours or taking more breaks? When do you need to eat? How much exercise you need…? Acknowledge how you operate and build your work schedule around it.

6)    Be uncomfortable (Cathy): Feeling uncomfortable means you are stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something new. It means you are challenging yourself. And that’s what it's all is about.

7)    Embrace difference (Kelly): You are a woman or an ethnic minority? Thrive in that difference: it’s your biggest advantage. It’s what will make people remember you.

—Nathalie Jaspar is the co-founder at Natky927 Wellness Collective, a group of professional Reiki practitioners supported by life coaches, clinical herbalists and yoga teachers in New York City and Miami. 

*I was so immersed into their speech that I didn’t think or recording, but I tried to keep it as close to the meaning as was possible.

I’ve never felt very optimistic about the world’s future.

Most of my friends in meditation and energy work believe that the world will become a better place.

I only saw increased violence, wars and greed.

Until today.

I was listening to a text read by #ThichNhatHanh. I don’t even remember what the words were, but suddenly I thought, “Yes, it can be better. It all depends on a few words.”
Think about it. Most totalitarian leaders are born out of a few words of rejection. Most economic predators are born of a word that hurt their ego.   

Words can be like pebbles that go down a slope, creating a huge avalanche.
It sounds dramatic but just the other day I witnessed it happening in a small scale.
I was at the Miami airport on my way home. Every body looked happy until an angry voice screamed a change of gate. People stopped smiling and rushed to the new gate only to be told, again angrily, the gate had changed once more. In a bad mood people rushed to the new gate where they were herded like cows into the plane. 

The airline employees, under pressure—we were already slightly delayed—started behaving a little erratically and people started fretting and complaining—not always in the most polite manner. The employees became even more stressed out and decided to check in all carry-ons for group 4. Passengers complied but were not happy. They were even less happy when they reached their seats to find all storage space empty.

Frustration escalated and passengers started to fight with one another until a supervisor totally out of control started screaming about terrorism. It was surreal. He decided a woman who complained about luggage was a treat to the flight (don't ask me why, I still don't get it) and she—plus another passenger who questioned the supervisor's judgement—were taken off the plane almost at gunpoint.

By that time we are all freaking out, but thinking it can't get worse, until the pilot, frustrated and tired, had to speed up our landing to be able to make it to New York and we almost slid off the runway. Twice.
A lovely ride home.
But where did all the madness start?

With a few angry words about a gate change.

How did it stop? At the baggage claim when my dog jumped on me and made me fall to the floor so he could lick me better, making everyone laugh.

Every word we say may have consequences we never dream of.
For bad.
But also for good.

And like this I became an optimist.
If a few words can destroy something.
A few words (or dog's loving sloppy kisses) also have the power to heal it.

It’s up to each of us to decide.

Nathalie Jaspar is the co-founder at Natky927 Wellness Collective, a group of professional Reiki practitioners supported by life coaches, clinical herbalists and yoga teachers in New York City and Miami. 

Photo credit: Screen shot from Almodovar's I'm So Excited.