How does life a Frans Stiene make? Was it a case of nature versus nurture or a delicate combination of both. Did he Reiju people from his pram? Photo-bomb selfies before selfies were invented? Drive his parents nuts saying that, since they were all one, the fact that he ate all the croissants was irrelevant because, in a way, he was them? 

To find out, I decided to go back to the original source. No, not the Universe. Mrs. Stiene, his mom, who from now on will be called Eukie (short for Eucalypta, a cartoon character with whom she shares a joyful, slightly cackly laugh and big hands). 

But first, I have to confess two things: number one, I fell in love with Eukie as soon as she made fun of Frans right at the start of the interview. Until now, only Alexa, my AI-assistant, had bested him. Two, Eukie is not the stereotype of the elderly, sweet mom. If you have seen Frans on a rampage of funny—and sometimes very sexual jokes—, you have a better idea of Eukie than imagining her as a sweet lady crocheting doilies. 

Me: How was Frans as a baby? 

Eukie: He cried a lot.

Me: What?!? 

Eukie: Yes. Then he became very sweet. Cuddles would always calm him down.

Note to hosts based on personal experience: you may want to trade cuddles for croissants if you are into boundaries or are afraid the neighbors will think you are having an affair.

Eukie: He was a very handsome baby. I was pushing the pram, and this woman stops and looks first at the pram, then at me, then back at the pram, and says: “You must have had a very good looking husband.” 

Note: Eukie laughs like it’s the best joke in the world. I would have slapped the woman. I realize I have a long way to go in my Reiki journey. 

Me: So people were already falling in love with Frans?

Eukie: Oh, yes! I used to tell him, “You must have a ‘Golden Manhood’ because you have so many women!”

Note: As Eukie said this, I started laughing like a madwoman. In part, because she didn’t use the polite term ‘manhood.’ In part because Frans blushed as I had never seen him do so before. But mostly because the question of nature versus nurture was a mystery no longer. Frans and his mom are basically twin souls. The one difference? She doesn’t blush. 

Me: When Frans was young, did you imagine he would become a meditation and Reiki teacher.

Eukie: [Laughs, and laughs… and laughs.] No way. He drank so much! I worked as a midwife. Sometimes I would leave the house at six or seven in the morning and see him coming back from his parties totally wasted. Once some friends brought him back home, and I got there just in time to stop him from getting sick in my good cooking pot. I gave him an old bucket instead! 

But he was very honest. When he said he didn’t do something, I knew he hadn’t. We talked about everything: drugs, sex, relationships, etc. 

And he was very caring. So much so, I thought he would become a nurse. 

Me: Well, he kind of is. He’s just nursing the lot of us in a different way. What has not changed in Frans in all these years?

Eukie: He is the same joyful, playful person. 

Me: What has changed?

Eukie: He just has to look at a mirror.

Ouch. But hey, they both laugh. So do I. I’m getting used to the Dutch directness. Eukie goes on about some pranks and naughty behaviors of Frans. But these were eclipsed by Frans telling a story about Eukie herself. When Eukie was in her early twenties, she and her sister took their mom for a walk through Haarlem’s red-light district. Eukie knocked on the window where sex workers exhibited their charms, waved, and then ran away. Classic Frans! One scary thought came to me. It’s already an “experience” to host Frans. What would it be like to host both Frans… and his mom. With my mind now focused on survival, I asked Eukie one last question.

Me: What is your advice for the kind, quiet people hosting your son all over the world?

Eukie: Just let him talk and do his thing.

Wise, very wise. May this be the precept that guides Frans’ host actions in years to come. May he talk and do his thing, bringing us joy, inspiration, and invaluable insights. Meanwhile, I have to go. I’m preparing the paperwork to request my adoption by Eukie.

Frans & Eukie.

Frans in New York.

We all wonder: how is Frans Stiene outside his classes? Is he serious? Does he levitate while sleeping? Does he snore? Does he cry while watching Netflix? And, most importantly, is he different from the way he behaves in class? The answer to all those questions is no (well, he didn’t have time to watch Netflix, and I have a feeling he may be a bit of a crier but don’t tell him). How do I know this? I was his host for a week, which gave me a great sneak peek at Frans’ behind the scene life. Secret info he has generously allowed to share with you.

Frans often highlights that we need to bring our practice into daily life. That the ultimate goal of Reiki is to shine our bright light 24/7. As Seigen Yamaoka explains in The Art and the Way of Hara, “A person of Hara is a person who lives the life of Hara in every aspect of their life. This way of life gives them confidence, direction, a sense of responsibility, meaning, and an awareness of the things in the world about them.”

One thing is to hear Frans talk about this or to read it in Japanese masters’ texts. To witness this... is an entirely different experience. One I was not quite ready for. So here are a few things I learned that may come in handy if you ever host him:

If there is a selfie happening nearby, he will photobomb it. Which means that if you are in a rush, avoid famous parks, buildings, or streets. Use alleyways, boring avenues (in New York, second, third, and seventh are highly recommended) and try to keep him entertained. If photobombing occurs, relax. The “selfie makers” will feel his hovering presence, give him the side eye first, and then melt and giggle. They will proceed to create a whole new series of happy selfies with Frans.

If you think the selfies incidents are a bit uncomfortable, that’s nothing. Frans loves taking photos. As his host, you will become his favorite photo prop, no matter how you look or what you wear. “Pose here, move there, strike a pose, higher, lower, change, more left hand...” As a future host, I highly recommend that you watch old episodes of Top Model with Tyra Banks. Mastering a few iconic poses will help you survive impromptu photo shoots.

He likes to sing. A lot. He will wake up and sing. He will move around the apartment and sing. He will walk the streets and sing. And not in a low voice, oh no! He will walk and sing the full precepts in Japanese like it was a Broadway musical (talk about taking your practice into daily life). As this happened in the West Village where every waiter wants to be a Broadway star, people didn’t stare at him. The few that did were probably wondering what lyrics was he singing (farewell my concubine?) If any of you is a composer or a musical producer, would you consider creating Mikao Usui the Musical? It would channel this curious passion of Frans and save us, his hosts, a lot of grief. Especially those who live in towns where waiters don’t dream of Broadway.

He believes in interconnection so much that he talks to everybody. People don’t talk to strangers in New York… unless they are drunk. But that didn’t stop Frans. Stressed out waiters? A little chat with Frans made them smile. Snarky uber drivers? Ditto. People walking on the street? They were not safe, either. We ended up being offered pot at the Vessel (a new experiential structure in Hudson Yards), discussing life with a blonde (and very chesty) millionaire who was on her way to Milan’s fashion week, and discovering that servers are not that happy at the new Little Spain market.

If there are cops nearby, run. No, Frans doesn’t carry anything weird, but he will find a way to come up with a prank. In my case, there was a plastic bag with something white inside on the street, and he started screaming, “Officer, officer, someone dropped his coke.” I wanted to die. This is New York: cops are not friendly. However, like all the other people, as soon as they saw him smiling, they went from grumpy to gooey and started joking, “No man, that’s my coke.” I am 100 percent sure that if I had made that joke, I would be in jail.

Breakfast with Frans is a very peaceful experience. You know all the emails we send him with questions or invitations? Well, he answers most of them during breakfast. Take advantage to do any essential reading, email answering, or showering. Feeding him fresh croissants and baguettes at this time is a good idea. His smile increases with each bite (Hum, now I wonder, are croissants the real secret behind his Reiki happiness?)

There is only one “person” immune to Frans’ Reiki-fueled charm. Her name is Alexa, and she refused to play music, tell the time or finding the right information when he asked her. He spent the whole week struggling with my beloved Amazon-powered little helper. I never said to him that the trick was leaving a pause between her name and the command so she would know he was talking to her. If you are reading this Frans, I am deeply sorry. But it was too entertaining to watch you struggle.

My last bit of advice: be prepared. Doing a little bit of homework beforehand can help genuinely embrace the experience of being a Frans host. I recommend watching the Borat movies, a few episodes of Absolutely Fabulous and, as I mentioned, Top Model. You will then be ready to laugh more in a week than you’ve laughed in months.

And Frans, Alexa says you are welcome to stay anytime. She will behave from now on.

—By Nathalie J.

I have an issue with power. Always had.

If I were a shrink I may guess the cause is that I'm the third sibling. Third siblings have little power when it comes to deciding what TV show to watch, where to go on weekends and what to eat for dinner. Most of the time, the only power we have is that of annoyance: to cry until we drive the whole family mad (I was particularly good at exercising this power by the way.)

Going back to power...

I've been reading Frans Stiene's latest book, The Inner Heart of Reiki, and enjoying the many layers and meanings of symbols. Especially CKR. I was never a lover of CKR. I did not grasp this idea of using it to "open chakras" and "put the power of the universe here or there." I'm somewhat of a minimalist and I like to keep my practice really simple. Using loads of symbols during a session would totally drive me out of my space of stillness and connection. It's a personal thing, probably based on my being slightly dyslexic. I am in no way criticizing other ways of practicing. 

"CKR is sometimes seen as an electric outlet where you plug yourself in order to practice."

But I really felt sort of upset that by calling it Power Symbol instead of by its mantra we may be depriving practitioners of the full beauty and depth of this symbol, of its qualities of grounding, of focus, of acceptance, of seeing things as they are. Of the internal work it ignites vs. seeing it like an electric outlet where you plug yourself in order to practice. 

I was ranting and ranting to myself until I started laughing. I was just angry at myself for not having done my work of digging a little deeper into my practice sooner. I could not fool myself and blame others anymore. After all, these past few weeks have been all about Seeing Things as They Are. And being ok with it. 

Photo credit: Napoleon in his Imperial Throne by French Painter Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres, 1780-1867



 

When I took my Reiki Level 2 class five years ago, I was taught all 3 symbols in one hour. A lot of emphasis was placed on CKR as the "power symbol," which works as a “switch” that helps to instantly increase the practitioner’s ability to channel energy and concentrates it on the required purpose. You wanted to accelerate healing? CKR. You wanted to rid your house of bad energies? CKR in every corner. There was nothing that CKR could not do.

The thing is I am a little bit like Al Gore: I dramatize things with amazing facility. So CKR became almost like a SuperMan kind of power in my head, which ended up being... a turn off. Childish I know, but We were not thought the importance of daily practice and meditating on the symbols.

When my life struggles were not instantly solved, no matter how many CKR I drew in the air, on paper and even in the mirror, I used it less and less. 

Through the years, my practice improved a lot. In great part by practicing simply and with respect at Reiki Clinics like the one at the JCC in Manhattan. I focused on letting my hands do the work and establishing a solid daily practice. Symbols didn't play a big role anymore... until I started my Reiki 3 class.

One of the first requirements was to read Frans Stiene's book The Japanese Art of Reiki. His description of the symbols are so inspiring, it created a desire to bring them back into my practice. Our teacher Deborah taught us simple meditations to understand each symbol's unique energy and how to incorporate it in yourself (Check them out at the end of the post!). Yet CKR—despite it's earthiness, grounding and accepting qualities—was a challenge to me. 

As a writer, I live in my head most of the time. The idea of grounding felt constraining. Almost anti-creative (as you can see I am not always the most perceptive person). So I binged on the 4th symbol, and avoided CKR like the plague, even though I started forgetting things everywhere and feeling a little to "airy."

The other day I was in a beautiful garden full of wild plants. They felt so alive it was almost like you could see them growing, moving, multiplying. And then it hit me: how stupid could I be thinking grounding and earthiness limit creativity? Earth is where life and all ideas get their nourishment to manifest. Their root to grow and prosper. It never constrains. On the contrary, it supports life without judging: weed, roses, deadly bugs or dutiful ants. 

And just like that I opened the door to CKR—to start discovering its nurturing energy of acceptance which dissolves anger and keeps things in perspective; its grounding effect that dissolves fears and worry.

If you have not meditated lately on CKR I invite you to give it a few minutes this week. Here are some tips that helped me get started:

1) Stand with your feet hip distance apart. Place your non-dominant hand on your hara and draw the symbol in the air with your dominant hand (using the palm). Say its name 3 times and bring the dominant hand to the hara (on top of the non-dominant one). Just breath for a few minutes and feel CKR's energy with your whole body.

2) Sit comfortably with your feet firmly planted on the floor. Draw CKR on a piece of paper. Place your dominant hand on top of it, say its name 3 times. Breathe deeply and feel the symbols' energy. 

3) If you are more auditory than visual, try chanting the symbol. You can download its chanting sounds here. Stand with your feet hip distance apart, hands to your side, take a purifying breath and get chanting. Start with 2 to 3 minutes per day and add time each time you feel ready. 

Photo credit: Nikolai Shevchuk

What to answer when people ask, ‘Did you get any messages?’ after a Reiki Session?

 When you take a Reiki class in one day like I did, you learn very fast—so fast that thousands of details fall through the cracks. Among them, what to do with the so-called “messages” given by spirit guides.

I’ve been practicing for close to five years and handling sessions has become easier. Handling my clients’ expectations when it comes to messages however became tougher and tougher.  

 While practicing at the JCC Reiki clinic with Reiki Master #PamelaMiles, her ‘No-Message Policy’ was easy to execute. Even when people asked we barely had time to answer, “It was our pleasure to offer you a Reiki session,” before they were ushered to the exit.

For a long time,  I tried to guide my clients' attention to what they felt, but I didn’t totally grasp the why, grasp it not only with my mind, but with guts and heart. And that probably affected my confidence when handling the matter.

It took a really awkward situation (a client literally kicked me out and refused to pay the session for lack of what she called “guidance”) to realize that I needed to understand why sharing these messages didn't feel right and communicate it clearly.

So, I did some digging.

According to Reiki masters and authors #FransStiene and #BronwenStiene, ‘hibiki’ or the sensation we feel during a "hands-on" healing session/meditation literally “means an echo. The reason why these sensations are called ‘hibiki’/echo is because they are not real—an echo is empty, like a reflection or an illusion.”

How then do we know that messages are real if ‘hibikis’ are not? Worse, what if messages are not only echoes, but also echoes that have been distorted further by our own experiences and emotions?

If, as Stiene explains, we are to experience Hibiki without labeling it, shouldn’t we do the same with messages? Experience them and then let them go, trusting the session to do its work?

Later, talking to Reiki Master #DeborahFlanagan, she mentioned that #Reiki practice was all about reconnecting with yourself. It seemed to me then that by giving messages, a practitioner may actually be getting in the way of his client’s best interest.

I gave it some thought. And what came to me was very simple.

When my clients ask for messages or guidance, they are—knowingly or not—shifting the responsibility of their own healing into my hands.  And that’s why it’s so important to gently shift it back into theirs—because, after all, they are the ones doing the work.

I’m not claiming this is a universal truth. But this works for me, for now. It doesn’t have to work for you. But I do believe that as we progress in our practice, it’s important to ask ourselves questions—even if they have been answered a hundred times—meditate on them, and come up with our own unique answer.

What’s your POV about messages*, would love to hear it.

* When I talk about messages in this post, I am not referring to the "there is a lot going on in your back" kind, but more to the "that person who hurt you recently? Not worth it" kind of messages.

Photo credit: http://purpleturtles.muzy.com/#lightbox_post_93097755