Of manifestation and control

Once during a shoot, I was in the dressing-room of a well-known model. We talked about meditation, thankfulness and life’s mission. A refreshing topic amidst the beauty world. When we ended the chat, she urged all of us to be careful with our thoughts as “in these times, everything manifests quickly!”

Later I got some news that could hinder my plans for a long-planned, much desired sabbatical, which is supposed to start in a month. It was just a scare, a problem that may go away easily, bad news that may never happen, yet I got a huge panic attack. And then… I went into a guilt trip. It felt that I should spend more time meditating on the wanted outcome instead. I also felt like I was unable to control my fears (so they were manifesting and derailing my dreams) and that made me feel totally worthless.

I was on the verge of drawing a list of what I wanted and sit for hours to visualize it with a feeling of stubborn purpose… and I stopped. One thing is manifesting, the other is trying to control destiny. So instead I extended my #Reiki self-practice and meditation time for the day. So I would calm down. So I would be able to let go of my fears. So energy would flow where I really needed it. So I would learn to accept with equanimity challenges. After all, without them, there is no growth.