Dive Into Reiki

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On the need to fix ourselves and others

I'm a problem solver. Always been. My brain loves patterns, cross-referencing and finding ways to circumvent obstacles in the most efficient way.
Although this quality has helped me a lot in practical life, it's been the bane of many of my friends.
When they would want to vent about something, I would offer them a solution, which I served with a heavy-handed dose of "you see, no need to worry at all!"
Love trouble, work havoc, existential crisis...you name it, I had a solution.
It never occurred to me that my friends just wanted to be held, hugged, fed, etc. They didn't need me to fix their lives—they were completely able to do so. They just needed me to support them with love and acceptance of their process.
Ironically, holding space without the need to fix is something that comes quite naturally during hands-on healing. I don't channel or transfer energy, I just hold the space energetically and support my clients' own healing process. Offering sessions opened my eyes to my need to "help" my friends.
And I noticed that the need to solve people's problems originated in the fact that witnessing pain in others makes me deeply uncomfortable. I want all my friends to be happy.
Once I acknowledged that fact, the need to fix lessened. I won't lie, it stills shows up every now and then. But now, most times, I just breathe and let it go.
And this is what I love about having a simple, down to earth spiritual practice: it gives me the tools to heal physically, but also to grow emotionally. 
Are you a fixer or a holder? What gives you space to reflect on life? Would love to hear about it!
Love,
Nat